Stinkin Fart.

Yes folks, it's time for me to spew some more vitriol and talk about just how crap I think Linkin park are. I'm sure that the title of this blog might have confused some of you. I have this thing where I feel the need to rename crap bands. Linkin Park? Stinking Fart. Nickleback? Stickleback. Avril Lavinge? Bovril Latrine. Not particularly smart or funny but they amuse me. So fuck you if you don't find them even remotely amusing.

So, picture the scene. Don't you just hate it when people write that? As if you want to picture the scene, as if you want to imagine a snap shot of their bullshit life. Anyway, picture the fucking scene, ok? Me and my girlfriend are driving in the car on a Saturday afternoon whilst listening to Rock Radio. There's a dullard of a DJ on who seems to be kissing the asses of two numpties from Linkin Park, telling them just how lovely and wonderful he thinks they are. They are then allowed to play some tracks from their blisteringly dull new album, A Thousand Suns. What a stupid fucking decision. Whoever told them they could do this needs to be shot in the face.
The listenership of the station was then subjected to the kind of mindless crap that gets played in corporate coffee houses.
One of the tracks that our ears were assaulted with contained some profanity. It had the word 'motherfucker' repeated in it about 12 times. This isn't the source of my problem with this particular band. I can cope with the word motherfucker. I mean, I've been called it many times, myself. Sometimes I've even been called worse things, by people who say they like me.
But, back to the matter in hand....

Linkin Park peddle pseudo industrial rap rock for the Starbucks generation. Insipid, lightweight drivel that's listened to by people who sit on big comfy couches, with big cups of skinny latte with only half a shot as they don't want to actually taste the caffeine. Fuck that. I want music the same strength and clarity as my coffee. Dark and murky with a sinister undercurrent and strong enough to stop a charging rhino. What I don't want is this kind of shite clogging up the airwaves. I am of the firm belief that I should start my own radio show. Oh sure, I'll fall foul of Ofcom more than once. I'm certain that my language would cause me to recieve a deluge of complaints and I haven't even gotten to the playlist, yet. I want to hear songs by Slayer, Metallica, Megadeth, Machine Head and the like. I want thrash metal blasting from my speakers, I want to scare the people into liking my show. Failing that, I just want get some faint praise from the small number of fans I might possibly draw!

But I guess this can also be a plea to the members of this annoyance of a band. Please stop making music, and I use that word in it's loosest sense. Go and find alternative careers. Stack shelves, work at a post office, donate your bodies to medical science. Just stop, ok? Stop.

Oh great, now they have just appeared on my TV. There I am, happily typing away while Scuzz tv plays me some tunes and Linkin Park show up with some random rap/shouty mix. I couldn't tell you which song it is as all of their work sounds the same. Plus, I can't be arsed looking at the TV screen to find out. I don't want it to infect my brain anymore than it already is!