Shut the fuck up in the cinema.

Picture the scene. My girlfriend and I are sat in a cinema. It doesn’t have to be a specific time or specific film as this happens most times we or any of us go to the cinema. Sat in the place are usually teenagers. These people usually are loud. They’re usually shouting things or saying stuff really loud. They usually have mobile phones that are unable to be switched off. They are usually cunts.
Now, a word to all teenagers out there. Nobody is interested in your inane banter, nobody is in the least bit amused by your antics and nobody thinks that you are funny. Every little thing you say, every little thing you do and every little thing you think has already been done by many fuckwits before you. Nothing you do or say is original.
People like me want to kill you as we know in our hearts that it will only make the world better. If there were less teenagers in the world then people like me could enjoy a film without hearing dumb ass giggles coming from about the place just because someone said something slightly titillating. Every time I go to see a film and someone talks I want to break them in half. I want to tear their heads open and eat their brains, suck out their eyes and spit them back in their dying faces. I know some might think that’s an overreaction but I don’t. I have paid good money to see a film and I don’t want some little cunt ruining my night out. These kids obviously get the money from their parents and think nothing of it when they ruin other peoples enjoyment of films. Well, I am here to tell you that is not on.
I remember being in a cinema in Florida and the film broke and burned on the screen. I had never seen that happen and was quite amused. Most of the yanks in the place went mental and started demanding all sorts of shit as their film experience was ruined. I just wanted to watch it again. Once we were in the next showing, people started talking. I turned to the nearest americunt and, in no uncertain terms, told them to keep their mouths shut when the film got to the point where it broke (which was only 25 mins in). They looked shocked...but they shut the fuck up. I have done the same in many other films and the same reaction occurred.
If I had my way, armed guards would patrol the aisles to keep order. I will allow people to laugh, giggle, scream or make noises of appreciation but talking in a voice above a whisper will be punishable by death. Mobile phones being looked at or used will result in the owner being first tortured and then killed. Talk all you want during the ads and trailers, call anyone you feel but when the title screen goes up and the film starts I have only one simple, humble request.
Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
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Rant over.