Yes folks, it's time for me to spew some more vitriol and talk about just how crap I think Linkin park are. I'm sure that the title of this blog might have confused some of you. I have this thing where I feel the need to rename crap bands. Linkin Park? Stinking Fart. Nickleback? Stickleback. Avril Lavinge? Bovril Latrine. Not particularly smart or funny but they amuse me. So fuck you if you don't find them even remotely amusing.
So, picture the scene. Don't you just hate it when people write that? As if you want to picture the scene, as if you want to imagine a snap shot of their bullshit life. Anyway, picture the fucking scene, ok? Me and my girlfriend are driving in the car on a Saturday afternoon whilst listening to Rock Radio. There's a dullard of a DJ on who seems to be kissing the asses of two numpties from Linkin Park, telling them just how lovely and wonderful he thinks they are. They are then allowed to play some tracks from their blisteringly dull new album, A Thousand Suns. What a stupid fucking decision. Whoever told them they could do this needs to be shot in the face.
The listenership of the station was then subjected to the kind of mindless crap that gets played in corporate coffee houses.
One of the tracks that our ears were assaulted with contained some profanity. It had the word 'motherfucker' repeated in it about 12 times. This isn't the source of my problem with this particular band. I can cope with the word motherfucker. I mean, I've been called it many times, myself. Sometimes I've even been called worse things, by people who say they like me.
But, back to the matter in hand....
Linkin Park peddle pseudo industrial rap rock for the Starbucks generation. Insipid, lightweight drivel that's listened to by people who sit on big comfy couches, with big cups of skinny latte with only half a shot as they don't want to actually taste the caffeine. Fuck that. I want music the same strength and clarity as my coffee. Dark and murky with a sinister undercurrent and strong enough to stop a charging rhino. What I don't want is this kind of shite clogging up the airwaves. I am of the firm belief that I should start my own radio show. Oh sure, I'll fall foul of Ofcom more than once. I'm certain that my language would cause me to recieve a deluge of complaints and I haven't even gotten to the playlist, yet. I want to hear songs by Slayer, Metallica, Megadeth, Machine Head and the like. I want thrash metal blasting from my speakers, I want to scare the people into liking my show. Failing that, I just want get some faint praise from the small number of fans I might possibly draw!
But I guess this can also be a plea to the members of this annoyance of a band. Please stop making music, and I use that word in it's loosest sense. Go and find alternative careers. Stack shelves, work at a post office, donate your bodies to medical science. Just stop, ok? Stop.
Oh great, now they have just appeared on my TV. There I am, happily typing away while Scuzz tv plays me some tunes and Linkin Park show up with some random rap/shouty mix. I couldn't tell you which song it is as all of their work sounds the same. Plus, I can't be arsed looking at the TV screen to find out. I don't want it to infect my brain anymore than it already is!
Sunday, 7 November 2010
Sunday, 31 October 2010
It's a Marvel-lous Halloween!
Welcome, folks! Here is my Halloween pumpkin offering, this year. Based on marvel's Iron Man. I'd just finished watching Iron Man 2 and I got to thinking, 'Hey, I've still got a pumpkin to carve....!'
Next year? Batman. Not just the logo, Christian Bale's actual visage in full Batman outfit! Ambitious? You betcha!
Wednesday, 13 October 2010
Woodwork-a-go-go!
I don't really class myself as a carpenter, as I have no formal skill when it comes to working with wood. I also don't class myself as a complete novice as I can make pretty much all I set out to.
What I will class myself as is a guy with some level of skill who makes shit with wood!
So far I have made beehives, a couple of 3 tier shelves, a mini set of 2 shelves and some small planters. They're all pretty good quality, too. I am quite pleased with the way they have turned out. Actually, I shouldn't be that surprised with the quality of my work as I am totally anal when it comes to things being exact. I didn't spend nearly 20 years in engineering and not pick up some level of exactness, along the way!
So this new work environment has opened me up to learning yet more new skills, namely those involved in proper woodworking. Sure, I can plod along and keep screwing bits of wood together and calling it woodwork but I want to learn to do proper joints like mortise and tenon, dovetail and the like. I have the time to do this and I certainly have the skill. Now all I need is the inclination! It's not going to be easy, learning all this new stuff. It'll certainly be a challenge and I relish that. If life was easy, someone smart would live it. Fuck knows what that means!
I also want to move into crafting my own weapons for training. Now before any of you get any ridiculous ideas that I will be stalking the streets all tooled up, I will clarify. I use wooden versions of swords and knives in my ninjutsu training. I want to make my own. I see it as a very integral part of my training in not only ninjutsu but woodworking, in general.
So in the coming months I will be posting pictures of the things I create in my shed of wonders on places like Twitter, Facebook and, of course, here. I'm also looking to set up a website to showcase my wares. Who knows, maybe someone will like my stuff so much that they'll pay me money for it. Stranger things have happened!
So be prepared, folks, to be deluged with tales of my woodworking exploits. I may even get into a spot of whittling!
What I will class myself as is a guy with some level of skill who makes shit with wood!
So far I have made beehives, a couple of 3 tier shelves, a mini set of 2 shelves and some small planters. They're all pretty good quality, too. I am quite pleased with the way they have turned out. Actually, I shouldn't be that surprised with the quality of my work as I am totally anal when it comes to things being exact. I didn't spend nearly 20 years in engineering and not pick up some level of exactness, along the way!
So this new work environment has opened me up to learning yet more new skills, namely those involved in proper woodworking. Sure, I can plod along and keep screwing bits of wood together and calling it woodwork but I want to learn to do proper joints like mortise and tenon, dovetail and the like. I have the time to do this and I certainly have the skill. Now all I need is the inclination! It's not going to be easy, learning all this new stuff. It'll certainly be a challenge and I relish that. If life was easy, someone smart would live it. Fuck knows what that means!
I also want to move into crafting my own weapons for training. Now before any of you get any ridiculous ideas that I will be stalking the streets all tooled up, I will clarify. I use wooden versions of swords and knives in my ninjutsu training. I want to make my own. I see it as a very integral part of my training in not only ninjutsu but woodworking, in general.
So in the coming months I will be posting pictures of the things I create in my shed of wonders on places like Twitter, Facebook and, of course, here. I'm also looking to set up a website to showcase my wares. Who knows, maybe someone will like my stuff so much that they'll pay me money for it. Stranger things have happened!
So be prepared, folks, to be deluged with tales of my woodworking exploits. I may even get into a spot of whittling!
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
My name is Darren and I've become a fat boy...
Welcome, friends, to the confessional post of a fat lad. This is only a short post so please, stick with it...
What you see before you (if you were in the room with me...which you're not...but try to imagine the scene...if you will...it'll only take a minute!) is a body that's out of shape. I've always been a big lad, don't get me wrong, but I once was a fitter specimen than is currently in front of this computer.
I will not explain the reasons why I am no longer able to get through a ninjutsu warm up, without sweat pouring from my head in a torrent of salty droplets, as they're many and varied. All I will say is that I will be using this blog as a log of my progress as I embark on the road back to greatness.
I will be aided in my journey by some wonderful people. Some of those people are also sadistic people, but then again, so am I!
Stay tuned to this channel and in the coming months I will update you with my progress, weight loss and improvements in stamina and general fitness. Hmmm, I've got a feeling that's it's going to be a long and bumpy ride!
What you see before you (if you were in the room with me...which you're not...but try to imagine the scene...if you will...it'll only take a minute!) is a body that's out of shape. I've always been a big lad, don't get me wrong, but I once was a fitter specimen than is currently in front of this computer.
I will not explain the reasons why I am no longer able to get through a ninjutsu warm up, without sweat pouring from my head in a torrent of salty droplets, as they're many and varied. All I will say is that I will be using this blog as a log of my progress as I embark on the road back to greatness.
I will be aided in my journey by some wonderful people. Some of those people are also sadistic people, but then again, so am I!
Stay tuned to this channel and in the coming months I will update you with my progress, weight loss and improvements in stamina and general fitness. Hmmm, I've got a feeling that's it's going to be a long and bumpy ride!
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
Facebook breeds morons.
I'm sure I'm not alone in having a facebook profile. Oh sure, some people resolutely stay away from the place and I commend them for their strength and fortitude. If, however, you're like me and are the kind of person who stares at road accidents or likes seeing carnage, death and destruction and can't resist a quick look then I'm sure you'll share my fascination with the whole clusteruck of a social network site.
I freely admit to having spent more time than is good for me on that site. I used it as an escape from my previous job, which was mind numbing in it's simplicity but full of Shakespearean tragedy and back stabbing. If I wasn't dodging work by lurking on facebook I was watching some soap opera unfold before my very eyes. You must bear in mind that I worked in a factory full of men. Unfortunately they were worse than the weekly Bitches, Witches and Cunts coffee/gossip morning. But I digress...
I have noticed that a lot of people on that site have some form of stupid middle name. Some even have an uproariously funny profile name that bears no resemblance to their proper name. Oh how they must chuckle when they log in to the facebook profile of Derek Windsock Delishiousnomnom McFuckwit (the 'delishiousnomnom' bit is from an actual user name. I mean, what the fuck?
While I will admit that people are allowed to post under any name they wish (The Hairy Ninja? What's that all about?!?), I remain free to abuse them and throw insults their way.
What makes me the maddest and angriest is the blatant lack of maturity on that site. Grown men and women seem to want to be known by the most ridiculous monikers their tiny minds can imagine.
And it doesn't stop there! Most of these people seem to have no grasp of the English language. They post the most grammatically incorrect comments, full of spelling mistakes and containing no actual sentence structure. When you make mention of the fact that they've used the word 'their' instead of 'they're' for the 100th time, you are met with the stock answers of 'I can't spell that good' or 'fuck u, I can spel hw I wnt 2'. Either response is met with the same level of anger and revulsion. Either go away from your computer and learn to spell and even do remedial English if it'll help, or stop trying to communicate with the humans who pass by your cage bars and who throw bananas at you, from time to time.
It's not hard to make the effort to write in a coherent manner or to spell things correctly. Computers have a spell check function, make use of it! If you can't be arsed to learn this shit then let your paid for with benefit payments computer do it for you.
I long for the day when everyone realises what twats they've been and stops that shit. Either that or the whole site goes into meltdown after the internet becomes self aware, Skynet style, and commits technological murder of facebook. Both outcomes are fine with me. I've already moved on to Twitter so facebook dying ain't a problem!
But please British public, I implore you, learn to spell and stop being cunts. Is that too much to ask? Fuck, I think it might be.....
I freely admit to having spent more time than is good for me on that site. I used it as an escape from my previous job, which was mind numbing in it's simplicity but full of Shakespearean tragedy and back stabbing. If I wasn't dodging work by lurking on facebook I was watching some soap opera unfold before my very eyes. You must bear in mind that I worked in a factory full of men. Unfortunately they were worse than the weekly Bitches, Witches and Cunts coffee/gossip morning. But I digress...
I have noticed that a lot of people on that site have some form of stupid middle name. Some even have an uproariously funny profile name that bears no resemblance to their proper name. Oh how they must chuckle when they log in to the facebook profile of Derek Windsock Delishiousnomnom McFuckwit (the 'delishiousnomnom' bit is from an actual user name. I mean, what the fuck?
While I will admit that people are allowed to post under any name they wish (The Hairy Ninja? What's that all about?!?), I remain free to abuse them and throw insults their way.
What makes me the maddest and angriest is the blatant lack of maturity on that site. Grown men and women seem to want to be known by the most ridiculous monikers their tiny minds can imagine.
And it doesn't stop there! Most of these people seem to have no grasp of the English language. They post the most grammatically incorrect comments, full of spelling mistakes and containing no actual sentence structure. When you make mention of the fact that they've used the word 'their' instead of 'they're' for the 100th time, you are met with the stock answers of 'I can't spell that good' or 'fuck u, I can spel hw I wnt 2'. Either response is met with the same level of anger and revulsion. Either go away from your computer and learn to spell and even do remedial English if it'll help, or stop trying to communicate with the humans who pass by your cage bars and who throw bananas at you, from time to time.
It's not hard to make the effort to write in a coherent manner or to spell things correctly. Computers have a spell check function, make use of it! If you can't be arsed to learn this shit then let your paid for with benefit payments computer do it for you.
I long for the day when everyone realises what twats they've been and stops that shit. Either that or the whole site goes into meltdown after the internet becomes self aware, Skynet style, and commits technological murder of facebook. Both outcomes are fine with me. I've already moved on to Twitter so facebook dying ain't a problem!
But please British public, I implore you, learn to spell and stop being cunts. Is that too much to ask? Fuck, I think it might be.....
Thursday, 26 August 2010
I am such a smart arse!
I've recently been reading a book by the late Monty Python, Graham Chapman, called 'Calcium Made Interesting'. Very good book. In it are a number of letters he wrote to people, including one to his bank manager about his overdraft. It is a witty letter and made me smile!
Inspired by this, I decided to deal with a debt recovery firm, who've been pestering me for a stupidly small amount of money, in the same way.
Here is the letter I sent to them. I think you'll agree that I am such a smart arse, and more than a little bit cheeky!
Just to explain the start of the letter, it was sent by a person called A.J.Martin. Is this person male or female? Who knows? It wasn't clear so I addressed the letter accordingly!
Dear Mr, or Mrs, Martin,
I recently received a letter from your company informing me of possible litigation due to the non payment of £23.50. This letter was dated 05/08/10 and said I should settle the balance before 12/08/10. However, I didn't receive this letter until 21/08/10. I thank you for reading this letter and also thank you for your understanding in this matter.
As I am currently not in possession of a time machine, or possess the knowledge capable of constructing a flux capacitor, TARDIS or similar device for circumventing the passage of the space time continuum, I am unable to comply with the request made by your letter with the red writing and the jovial use of the Comic Sans font. Of course, I doubt that I would want to operate such a dangerous device. I mean, what if I accidentally killed my own grandmother, at birth? I understand that if this was to occur then, in theory, I will therefore never be born, so the journey could never have been made in the first place; but if the journey never occurred then my grandmother would be born which means I would have been born and could make the journey...and so on and so on. This is a paradox. And besides, I quite like my grandmother.
The only course of action, then, is to pay. Alas, I am in no position, currently, to pay. If you had sent this letter a week later or a week earlier then, maybe, I would have been in a more stable financial position. As it is, I am not. You find me at a crossroads of monetary inconvenience. To the left, rent. To the right, utility bills. Ahead of me, more of the same. See? It's not a nice place to be. I know the kind of practices that go on at crossroads and believe me, I've tried to contact the devil to broker a deal on my eternal soul but he just isn't answering. It's understandable, what with all the wars going on around the world and all the petty crime and general nastiness that fills our world on an almost daily basis. Who am I to make Beelzebub take a break from torture of the weak and his eternal struggle against the forces of heaven, just to help me out of a slightly less than £25 shaped hole. A pony, I believe it's called in Cockney parlance.
So it is with regret and a heavy heart that I must inform you that my payment will be made in the near future, maybe September time. I understand that this will cause you some inconvenience and possibly cause you to utter swear words or make accusations about my parentage. This is, of course, totally natural. I will take no notice of said epithets as I have a thick skin and insults don't really bother me. Sticks and stones and all that. This is, also, totally natural.
Once again, I thank you for your understanding, patience and compassion in this trying time. If only more companies were like yours, this world would be a much nicer place to live. You should be proud of yourselves, you really should.
Sincerely yours,
Darren Wright.
Inspired by this, I decided to deal with a debt recovery firm, who've been pestering me for a stupidly small amount of money, in the same way.
Here is the letter I sent to them. I think you'll agree that I am such a smart arse, and more than a little bit cheeky!
Just to explain the start of the letter, it was sent by a person called A.J.Martin. Is this person male or female? Who knows? It wasn't clear so I addressed the letter accordingly!
Dear Mr, or Mrs, Martin,
I recently received a letter from your company informing me of possible litigation due to the non payment of £23.50. This letter was dated 05/08/10 and said I should settle the balance before 12/08/10. However, I didn't receive this letter until 21/08/10. I thank you for reading this letter and also thank you for your understanding in this matter.
As I am currently not in possession of a time machine, or possess the knowledge capable of constructing a flux capacitor, TARDIS or similar device for circumventing the passage of the space time continuum, I am unable to comply with the request made by your letter with the red writing and the jovial use of the Comic Sans font. Of course, I doubt that I would want to operate such a dangerous device. I mean, what if I accidentally killed my own grandmother, at birth? I understand that if this was to occur then, in theory, I will therefore never be born, so the journey could never have been made in the first place; but if the journey never occurred then my grandmother would be born which means I would have been born and could make the journey...and so on and so on. This is a paradox. And besides, I quite like my grandmother.
The only course of action, then, is to pay. Alas, I am in no position, currently, to pay. If you had sent this letter a week later or a week earlier then, maybe, I would have been in a more stable financial position. As it is, I am not. You find me at a crossroads of monetary inconvenience. To the left, rent. To the right, utility bills. Ahead of me, more of the same. See? It's not a nice place to be. I know the kind of practices that go on at crossroads and believe me, I've tried to contact the devil to broker a deal on my eternal soul but he just isn't answering. It's understandable, what with all the wars going on around the world and all the petty crime and general nastiness that fills our world on an almost daily basis. Who am I to make Beelzebub take a break from torture of the weak and his eternal struggle against the forces of heaven, just to help me out of a slightly less than £25 shaped hole. A pony, I believe it's called in Cockney parlance.
So it is with regret and a heavy heart that I must inform you that my payment will be made in the near future, maybe September time. I understand that this will cause you some inconvenience and possibly cause you to utter swear words or make accusations about my parentage. This is, of course, totally natural. I will take no notice of said epithets as I have a thick skin and insults don't really bother me. Sticks and stones and all that. This is, also, totally natural.
Once again, I thank you for your understanding, patience and compassion in this trying time. If only more companies were like yours, this world would be a much nicer place to live. You should be proud of yourselves, you really should.
Sincerely yours,
Darren Wright.
Monday, 5 July 2010
Freedom of speech? Not fucking likely!
Once again, dear readers, you find me in a pissed off mood. Pissed off at the fact that I am seemingly unable to write a throw away comment on that shite site called facebook, without being warned of possible reprisals by the police.
Let me set the scene for you...
My day is going well. I have demolished a knackered old pool table, I have watched Back To The Future (Today is the date Doc Brown sets to go to 25 years into the future. Cool, eh?), I've eaten leftover pasta bake and I've surfed the net.
Then my tranquility is broken by a phone call, one that sends me into yet another fit of rage. yes folks, Money Group call me yet-a-fucking-gain!
I have asked them, nay, TOLD them countless times to remove my number from their database yet still I get calls.
So off I go to facebook to make a witty, slightly sarcastic remark. about bombing their head office and all their call centres with all the employees still inside. I laugh as I hit send! I chortle as I think about what kind of comments may arise from my moment of anger! Look, what's this? A response? Oh great. Someone is reminding me about the Doncaster man who threatened to blow up Robin Hood airport and was fined £385 and told to pay £600 costs.
Was that really a good use of tazpayers money? Prosecuting a guy who made a flippant remark? No, it wasn't.
So if I wish to write about anything, I will. If I wish to write that I'm gonna smear myself with my own poo, run about the garden with a kitten strapped to my genitals whilst singing Lady Gaga songs, then I will.
Don't tell me I can't, don't try and prosecute me, don't think I care about any offence caused. I don't.
Now.....fuck off.
Let me set the scene for you...
My day is going well. I have demolished a knackered old pool table, I have watched Back To The Future (Today is the date Doc Brown sets to go to 25 years into the future. Cool, eh?), I've eaten leftover pasta bake and I've surfed the net.
Then my tranquility is broken by a phone call, one that sends me into yet another fit of rage. yes folks, Money Group call me yet-a-fucking-gain!
I have asked them, nay, TOLD them countless times to remove my number from their database yet still I get calls.
So off I go to facebook to make a witty, slightly sarcastic remark. about bombing their head office and all their call centres with all the employees still inside. I laugh as I hit send! I chortle as I think about what kind of comments may arise from my moment of anger! Look, what's this? A response? Oh great. Someone is reminding me about the Doncaster man who threatened to blow up Robin Hood airport and was fined £385 and told to pay £600 costs.
Was that really a good use of tazpayers money? Prosecuting a guy who made a flippant remark? No, it wasn't.
So if I wish to write about anything, I will. If I wish to write that I'm gonna smear myself with my own poo, run about the garden with a kitten strapped to my genitals whilst singing Lady Gaga songs, then I will.
Don't tell me I can't, don't try and prosecute me, don't think I care about any offence caused. I don't.
Now.....fuck off.
Friday, 2 July 2010
Reconsidering Korn
Right, first things first.
For a long time, I have dismissed the work of Korn as floppy bass stringed, whiny 'Oh woe is me', silly named twaddle. When they released their first, self titled album 'KoЯn', in 1994, the metal scene was in a state of disarray. Grunge was scouring the land, trying to fire the last spear into the dinosaur of hair metal and the rest of us were left to figure out where to go next.
Korn did bring a freshness to an otherwise sour musical landscape, but I guess I was a little closed minded. I was 21, at the time. I had passed through my 'angry young man teens' and was just starting my 'fuck you 20's'. I deemed anything that wasn't what I was used to as a waste of time, very much like the 'datz not metulz' crew of today. Yes, I am admitting my failures as a music fan. You have to own up to your mistakes, now and again!
Anyway, there I was, firmly in the grip of bands like Machine Head and Pantera, two bands who had released two great albums in '94. I was definitely a post thrash/groove metal devotee!
So, when this floppy bass stringed noise came out, I was less than impressed. I think it had a lot to do with the scene kids that jumped on to the Korn bandwagon like it was the best thing since sliced bread. This made me slightly annoyed, being the 21 year old gumby that I was (still am, except I am currently 37!).
I was also not the most tolerant person to ever walk the face of the earth, so when I heard songs like 'daddy' and 'Faget', my immediate response was to say, 'Oh just stop whinging and cowboy the fuck up!'. See? Not the nicest guy, was I? So I ignored Korn and resolutely kept my ass off the dance floor whenever their tunes got spun.
Then, in '96, they released 'Life Is Peachy'. Needless to say, I wasn't at all bothered!
Korn were never gonna be any more to me than an annoyance. I'd never get to see them live and, if I did, it would only be at a festival. I could cope with that, I thought. Turns out that I didn't need to worry!
Years go by and they release yet more albums. Some do well, others don't. Shows get cancelled, festivals performances missed, fans pissed off.
I remember going to the Black Sabbath extravaganza at Milton Keynes Bowl in '98. Korn were slated to appear but pulled out at the last minute due to the fact that, as far as I remember, David Sliverias wife was giving birth. Fair enough. Therapy? were given their slot. I took great delight in this as I am a huge Therapy? fan! I also took great delight in walking around the festival grounds, telling every kid in a Korn shirt that I saw, that their heroes would not be performing! Childish, I know, but damn good fun! The sight of dumb ass kids crying because their favourite band were not there, made me happy. I was, and still am, a sadist!
Still, they had Black Sabbath to look forward too. Why cry about the loss of one band when the mighty Sabbath are there? Stupid.
Then we get to 2006 and Download. Korn were scheduled to appear and Jonathan Davis ended up getting sick and had to go to hospital. Cue happy Darren! Another festival I wouldn't see them at! I did have a lovely time watching a few people actually cry when they heard the news. Cry! What the fuck?
And that short little synopsis of a couple of gigs brings me up to date. Korn dropped off my radar and I didn't much care about their output.
Then, a week or so ago, I am channel surfing through the music on Sky and who do I see but Korn. 'Oildale (Leave Me Alone)' was the song being played. I was impressed! They had seemingly lost a lot of the, what I used to term, dunga dunga squee, bollocks. Also the bass sounded like a bass. And there wasn't a single, 'Oh my daddy abused me' lyric in sight. Awesome.
This single has led me to question if I should have given them more time back in the 90's. It's also made me think that I am now a grown up and am more open to new things. Me, a grown up? Sheesh, scary.
Now, I am on a quest to reconsider the musical output of Korn, and also lots of other bands that I may have cruelly overlooked.
I can't say that I will be the most open mined person on the planet in the future. All I can hope for is the wisdom to change my opinions. I am, after all, only human and will continue to make mistakes. Let's just hope that I can learn from them! It seems that I will as I am now listening to Korn's first album on Spotify.
Wish me luck!
For a long time, I have dismissed the work of Korn as floppy bass stringed, whiny 'Oh woe is me', silly named twaddle. When they released their first, self titled album 'KoЯn', in 1994, the metal scene was in a state of disarray. Grunge was scouring the land, trying to fire the last spear into the dinosaur of hair metal and the rest of us were left to figure out where to go next.
Korn did bring a freshness to an otherwise sour musical landscape, but I guess I was a little closed minded. I was 21, at the time. I had passed through my 'angry young man teens' and was just starting my 'fuck you 20's'. I deemed anything that wasn't what I was used to as a waste of time, very much like the 'datz not metulz' crew of today. Yes, I am admitting my failures as a music fan. You have to own up to your mistakes, now and again!
Anyway, there I was, firmly in the grip of bands like Machine Head and Pantera, two bands who had released two great albums in '94. I was definitely a post thrash/groove metal devotee!
So, when this floppy bass stringed noise came out, I was less than impressed. I think it had a lot to do with the scene kids that jumped on to the Korn bandwagon like it was the best thing since sliced bread. This made me slightly annoyed, being the 21 year old gumby that I was (still am, except I am currently 37!).
I was also not the most tolerant person to ever walk the face of the earth, so when I heard songs like 'daddy' and 'Faget', my immediate response was to say, 'Oh just stop whinging and cowboy the fuck up!'. See? Not the nicest guy, was I? So I ignored Korn and resolutely kept my ass off the dance floor whenever their tunes got spun.
Then, in '96, they released 'Life Is Peachy'. Needless to say, I wasn't at all bothered!
Korn were never gonna be any more to me than an annoyance. I'd never get to see them live and, if I did, it would only be at a festival. I could cope with that, I thought. Turns out that I didn't need to worry!
Years go by and they release yet more albums. Some do well, others don't. Shows get cancelled, festivals performances missed, fans pissed off.
I remember going to the Black Sabbath extravaganza at Milton Keynes Bowl in '98. Korn were slated to appear but pulled out at the last minute due to the fact that, as far as I remember, David Sliverias wife was giving birth. Fair enough. Therapy? were given their slot. I took great delight in this as I am a huge Therapy? fan! I also took great delight in walking around the festival grounds, telling every kid in a Korn shirt that I saw, that their heroes would not be performing! Childish, I know, but damn good fun! The sight of dumb ass kids crying because their favourite band were not there, made me happy. I was, and still am, a sadist!
Still, they had Black Sabbath to look forward too. Why cry about the loss of one band when the mighty Sabbath are there? Stupid.
Then we get to 2006 and Download. Korn were scheduled to appear and Jonathan Davis ended up getting sick and had to go to hospital. Cue happy Darren! Another festival I wouldn't see them at! I did have a lovely time watching a few people actually cry when they heard the news. Cry! What the fuck?
And that short little synopsis of a couple of gigs brings me up to date. Korn dropped off my radar and I didn't much care about their output.
Then, a week or so ago, I am channel surfing through the music on Sky and who do I see but Korn. 'Oildale (Leave Me Alone)' was the song being played. I was impressed! They had seemingly lost a lot of the, what I used to term, dunga dunga squee, bollocks. Also the bass sounded like a bass. And there wasn't a single, 'Oh my daddy abused me' lyric in sight. Awesome.
This single has led me to question if I should have given them more time back in the 90's. It's also made me think that I am now a grown up and am more open to new things. Me, a grown up? Sheesh, scary.
Now, I am on a quest to reconsider the musical output of Korn, and also lots of other bands that I may have cruelly overlooked.
I can't say that I will be the most open mined person on the planet in the future. All I can hope for is the wisdom to change my opinions. I am, after all, only human and will continue to make mistakes. Let's just hope that I can learn from them! It seems that I will as I am now listening to Korn's first album on Spotify.
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
Wallowing In Grief.
Why the hell do people wallow in grief? Do they like being miserable and sad? Do they not want to be happy?
The reason I ask is because of the stupid practice of putting flowers by the side of the road where there's been an accident. It seems to me that people want to be reminded of someones death constantly and want others to see just how much their grief means. Why? Who cares how much you loved someone who got killed? I don't. Who wants to see bunches of rotting flowers stuck to lamp posts? I don't. Who else wonders why these people don't just keep their grieving to themselves? I do. Cemetaries are for that, not streets.
Plus, I have seen this kind of shit outside pubs. There's one pub in Gorton in Manchester where this goes on. As far as I remember, some random guy stumbled into the road pissed, got hit by a car and died. 2 days later the flowers appeared as did the 'R.I.P. He was lovely, sadly missed' bullshit tributes. Why? He was drunk, too stupid to stay on a fucking pavement, fell into the road and died. Why the outpouring of grief? One less idiot in the world. A good start as far as I can see.
And I'm not saying the car driver is blameless. I've been driving before now when idiots have stepped into the road but I've either been in control of my vehicle and avoided them, despite some of them being almost determined to die, or lucky. Whoever was driving the car which hit the guy I'm refering to will live with that incident for the rest of his or her life.
But why are the rest of us subjected to someone elses grief? I don't see why we should see bunches of flowers, or similarly dumb floral tributes, at the side of the road. Aren't they hazards, in and of themselves? How many people drive past them and look to see what the pictures are and what the words say, taking their eyes off the road and basically being out of control? See? These idiots are causing more accidents! Not content with going 'oh woe is me, I've lost some random numpty from my family who was too dumb to cross a fucking road', they have to attempt to get other people killed. Bit selfish and insensitive if you ask me, which you didn't but fuck it, you get my opinion anyway.
So can we please stop this stupid practice? It's pointless, unnecessary and only makes the place look untidy when the flowers die. Do something more worthwhile with your money like donate to road safety campaigns or some such worthy cause. That makes more sense to me than wasting money on some plants that'll eventually die and go the same way as your fuckwit (insert relative or friend here) did.
Rotten, forgotten and thrown away. Move on. Life has, why can't you?
The reason I ask is because of the stupid practice of putting flowers by the side of the road where there's been an accident. It seems to me that people want to be reminded of someones death constantly and want others to see just how much their grief means. Why? Who cares how much you loved someone who got killed? I don't. Who wants to see bunches of rotting flowers stuck to lamp posts? I don't. Who else wonders why these people don't just keep their grieving to themselves? I do. Cemetaries are for that, not streets.
Plus, I have seen this kind of shit outside pubs. There's one pub in Gorton in Manchester where this goes on. As far as I remember, some random guy stumbled into the road pissed, got hit by a car and died. 2 days later the flowers appeared as did the 'R.I.P. He was lovely, sadly missed' bullshit tributes. Why? He was drunk, too stupid to stay on a fucking pavement, fell into the road and died. Why the outpouring of grief? One less idiot in the world. A good start as far as I can see.
And I'm not saying the car driver is blameless. I've been driving before now when idiots have stepped into the road but I've either been in control of my vehicle and avoided them, despite some of them being almost determined to die, or lucky. Whoever was driving the car which hit the guy I'm refering to will live with that incident for the rest of his or her life.
But why are the rest of us subjected to someone elses grief? I don't see why we should see bunches of flowers, or similarly dumb floral tributes, at the side of the road. Aren't they hazards, in and of themselves? How many people drive past them and look to see what the pictures are and what the words say, taking their eyes off the road and basically being out of control? See? These idiots are causing more accidents! Not content with going 'oh woe is me, I've lost some random numpty from my family who was too dumb to cross a fucking road', they have to attempt to get other people killed. Bit selfish and insensitive if you ask me, which you didn't but fuck it, you get my opinion anyway.
So can we please stop this stupid practice? It's pointless, unnecessary and only makes the place look untidy when the flowers die. Do something more worthwhile with your money like donate to road safety campaigns or some such worthy cause. That makes more sense to me than wasting money on some plants that'll eventually die and go the same way as your fuckwit (insert relative or friend here) did.
Rotten, forgotten and thrown away. Move on. Life has, why can't you?
What happened to the English language?
Rant begins.
I despair at the lack of correct grammar in use today. I blame SMS and the Internet. I know that at the dawn on the SMS age, people had to make full use of their 160 characters. 10 pence, or however much you paid, didn't go very far in those days. Still doesn't, really. That 160 constraint meant that words had to be abbreviated, terms cut down to just the initial letters. CU L8R, bcos, shit like that.
Now, when the Internet became more accessible to people I thought that would stop and everyone would switch back to proper English. How wrong I was.
I don't claim to be the most eloquent person, and I'm sure I myself have a few slip ups where grammar and punctuation are concerned, but I'm not one of the retarded masses. I am able to construct a sentence, spell words correctly and get my point across with a minimum of fuss and to some degree of clarity. Most people who reside online, it seems, are unable to do this simple task.
Only just the other day I was sat on the bus and a woman, maybe in her 40's, sat in front of me and started sending a text. She had a blackberry, which is important simply for the fact that it was probably on contract with a text allowance of a few hundred messages. Why, then, did she choose to express herself in a way that I can only describe as, and I quote myself, 'fucking stupid'? She wrote things like, 'cant w8 2 c ma fewwa'. Eh? What? There's no apostrophe in the word 'can't', for one thing. Don't even get me started on why the fuck she spells 'fella' in such a fucked up manner. She then proceeded to say that she couldn't wait to be with, 'her chewwy twee and her bwakk cuwwants'. No, me either!
Maybe it was that baby talk shit that some couples do, maybe she was mentally retarded. Whatever the case, she's a fucking moron.
Before you all leap at me with shouts of, 'It's a free country! People can spell things any way they want!', let me defend myself by saying that, yes, I am being a totally judgemental prick. I don't care. I make every effort to write legibly and also to type in the same manner. To do things the way this woman does is plain lazy. It also shows a lack of eduacation. Why would you want to give people the impression that you were in the special class at school? That, maybe, you failed remedial English? That you are a fucking moron? I hope one of you who are reading this have an answer because I have no clue!
What I want, crave even, is a return to the use of the English language. It's a wonderful language that is criminally underused by the majority of the population. If it takes me going on a one man crusade and pointing out where people are going wrong then so be it. I don't mind being everyones hero. Fine. I'll take this job, gladly.
So let this serve as a warning to all of those who're misfortunate enough to, firstly, be on my friends list and, secondly, read this. Use correct grammar, spell words properly and avoid shit like LOL, ROFL and that 'nom nom nom' bollocks. It's childish and fucking stupid. I say so and you know I'm always right.
Rant ends.
I despair at the lack of correct grammar in use today. I blame SMS and the Internet. I know that at the dawn on the SMS age, people had to make full use of their 160 characters. 10 pence, or however much you paid, didn't go very far in those days. Still doesn't, really. That 160 constraint meant that words had to be abbreviated, terms cut down to just the initial letters. CU L8R, bcos, shit like that.
Now, when the Internet became more accessible to people I thought that would stop and everyone would switch back to proper English. How wrong I was.
I don't claim to be the most eloquent person, and I'm sure I myself have a few slip ups where grammar and punctuation are concerned, but I'm not one of the retarded masses. I am able to construct a sentence, spell words correctly and get my point across with a minimum of fuss and to some degree of clarity. Most people who reside online, it seems, are unable to do this simple task.
Only just the other day I was sat on the bus and a woman, maybe in her 40's, sat in front of me and started sending a text. She had a blackberry, which is important simply for the fact that it was probably on contract with a text allowance of a few hundred messages. Why, then, did she choose to express herself in a way that I can only describe as, and I quote myself, 'fucking stupid'? She wrote things like, 'cant w8 2 c ma fewwa'. Eh? What? There's no apostrophe in the word 'can't', for one thing. Don't even get me started on why the fuck she spells 'fella' in such a fucked up manner. She then proceeded to say that she couldn't wait to be with, 'her chewwy twee and her bwakk cuwwants'. No, me either!
Maybe it was that baby talk shit that some couples do, maybe she was mentally retarded. Whatever the case, she's a fucking moron.
Before you all leap at me with shouts of, 'It's a free country! People can spell things any way they want!', let me defend myself by saying that, yes, I am being a totally judgemental prick. I don't care. I make every effort to write legibly and also to type in the same manner. To do things the way this woman does is plain lazy. It also shows a lack of eduacation. Why would you want to give people the impression that you were in the special class at school? That, maybe, you failed remedial English? That you are a fucking moron? I hope one of you who are reading this have an answer because I have no clue!
What I want, crave even, is a return to the use of the English language. It's a wonderful language that is criminally underused by the majority of the population. If it takes me going on a one man crusade and pointing out where people are going wrong then so be it. I don't mind being everyones hero. Fine. I'll take this job, gladly.
So let this serve as a warning to all of those who're misfortunate enough to, firstly, be on my friends list and, secondly, read this. Use correct grammar, spell words properly and avoid shit like LOL, ROFL and that 'nom nom nom' bollocks. It's childish and fucking stupid. I say so and you know I'm always right.
Rant ends.
Sunday, 2 May 2010
Me and The Boss.
I warn you now that this is a long ass blog. If you choose to stop here that's fine but don't say I didn't warn you! Right, on we go....
Right kids, it's confession time. Some of you already know this little snippet of information that I am about to impart and have already accepted it, some of you don't know yet.
I, Darren Alexander Wright, am a Bruce Springsteen fan. I know in some circles liking The Boss is akin to liking Fall Out Boy but I tend to ignore those kinds of people. And just for the record I don't like Fall Out Boy, I am just using them as an example!
But ever since I heard 'Born in the U.S.A.' in about 1984 I have liked him and his music so Springsteen even predates my metal birth by at least 2 years. It wasn't until '86 when I got into 'Master Of Puppets' by Metallica (an album which I am currently enjoying at an unsociable volume while I type this!) purely on the strength of the poster for it which depicted the album cover of a field of white crucifixes. I thought that by buying it then it would piss my mother off. Kind of a youthful rebellion thing. I was 13, young and stupid (as opposed to old and stupid which I kinda resemble now) and it did piss her off as she was fine with me liking other stuff but heavy guitars and angry lyrics didn't sit well with her strait laced view of the world. I, however, loved it! But I digress...
So there I am an 11 year old and I hear 'Born in the U.S.A.' on the radio and see the video on top of the pop's. I don't know why I took to the song or liked it so much but I loved the anthemic feel to it and the sheer level of emotion it holds. These are words the 35 year old me is using to describe feelings I didn't know how to convey at age 11. All I knew was it sounded real good when I turned the radio up and listened to it with the speakers right near my head!
Now I was too young to really understand the true meaning of the lyrics. They were, and still are on occasion, misinterpreted as patriotic or jingoistic when in point of fact the song deals with the effect of the Vietnam war on Americans returning home to a country that doesn't want to help them. It deals also with loss and is in no way a flag waving nationalistic anthem but that didn't stop Ronald Reagan from co-opting it for one of his campaigns. I won't go into that as politics simply bores me shitless!
But from that first exposure to Springsteen's music I was hooked and spent the time between age 11 until, well, now I guess, listening to and buying and enjoying his music all the while I am being Mr Metal. For a long old time I couldn't reveal my liking for New Jerseys own rocker to even my closest friends as I knew the ridicule that would follow. In time I learned to not give two fucks what other people thought about my musical tastes or any tastes come to that but during my formative metal years (doesn't that sound just so cheesy? Does to me!) I had to only like Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Anthrax and all the other hard and heavy bands that were around, which was OK as I did like them and still enjoy most of those bands to this day. I have kinda lost Anthrax ever since they got their old singer back and played shit at Donnington a few years back!
I soon learned that my true friends accepted my liking for these songs and I forged on with it and delved into Bruce's back catalogue and discovered I loved most of them. If anyone ever tells you they like everything an artist has produced, however much they say they are their favourite artist, they are lying. We all don't like some songs on albums, some we consider filler and some we flat out don't like. If we liked everything then someone could just be farting into a microphone and it would get to number one. Although with the shit that populates the charts now it would stand a bloody good chance!
Albums like 'Greetings from Asbury Park, NJ' revealed the early incarnation of Bruce and the E Street Band, 'Born To Run' is just a flat out classic and I often listen to it, 'The River' was a cool album with lots of variety and 2 discs worth and 'Nebraska' was simply stunning being as it is just one guy and a guitar. A very sparse and bleak album but with such soul. It remains in my top 10 fav albums, maybe even top 5.
I wont go into his whole discography, I just mentioned those to give you an insight into how deeply I delve into something when I like it!
I got to thinking today while I was on the bus home why it is I like Bruce's music so much. I guess it's because he takes the mundane and makes it epic. He takes the small things that happen in our lives and turns them into mini miracles, snapshots of life that seem timeless. I will never know what its like to grow up in New Jersey, live through a war in which you lose many friends, fall in love in an era that I was only just born into but I can relate to the feelings of love, romance, longing, loss, desperation and sometimes hidden joy that the world contains. I like those feelings just as much as I like how I feel when I have 'Battery' turned way up loud and the windows are rattling and I just want to go break shit! Both styles of music remind me that I am alive and that I have a heart capable of feeling and a soul that needs to fly.
I'll leave you with some of the lyrics to one of my favourite Springsteen songs, which he opened the set with when I went to see him recently. Its from the 'Born In The U.S.A.' album and the song is 'No Surrender'. Fuck it, I'm gonna throw em all up here. Why not? This blog is fucking long as it is, might as well take the piss!
We busted out of class had to get away from those fools
We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school
Tonight I hear the neighborhood drummer sound
I can feel my heart begin to pound
You say you're tired and you just want to close your eyes and follow your dreams down
We made a promise we swore we'd always remember
No retreat no surrender
Like soldiers in the winter's night with a vow to defend
No retreat no surrender
Now young faces grow sad and old and hearts of fire grow cold
We swore blood brothers against the wind
I'm ready to grow young again
And hear your sister's voice calling us home across the open yards
Well maybe we could cut someplace of our own
With these drums and these guitars
Blood brothers in the stormy night with a vow to defend
No retreat no surrender
Now on the street tonight the lights grow dim
The walls of my room are closing in
There's a war outside still raging
you say it ain't ours anymore to win
I want to sleep beneath peaceful skies in my lover's bed
with a wide open country in my eyes
and these romantic dreams in my head
...
Those last 3 lines will stay with me forever as they are simply beautiful.
That's it. I'm done now. Off you go back to your lives. You are free....Till the next time I get the typing urge that is!
Right kids, it's confession time. Some of you already know this little snippet of information that I am about to impart and have already accepted it, some of you don't know yet.
I, Darren Alexander Wright, am a Bruce Springsteen fan. I know in some circles liking The Boss is akin to liking Fall Out Boy but I tend to ignore those kinds of people. And just for the record I don't like Fall Out Boy, I am just using them as an example!
But ever since I heard 'Born in the U.S.A.' in about 1984 I have liked him and his music so Springsteen even predates my metal birth by at least 2 years. It wasn't until '86 when I got into 'Master Of Puppets' by Metallica (an album which I am currently enjoying at an unsociable volume while I type this!) purely on the strength of the poster for it which depicted the album cover of a field of white crucifixes. I thought that by buying it then it would piss my mother off. Kind of a youthful rebellion thing. I was 13, young and stupid (as opposed to old and stupid which I kinda resemble now) and it did piss her off as she was fine with me liking other stuff but heavy guitars and angry lyrics didn't sit well with her strait laced view of the world. I, however, loved it! But I digress...
So there I am an 11 year old and I hear 'Born in the U.S.A.' on the radio and see the video on top of the pop's. I don't know why I took to the song or liked it so much but I loved the anthemic feel to it and the sheer level of emotion it holds. These are words the 35 year old me is using to describe feelings I didn't know how to convey at age 11. All I knew was it sounded real good when I turned the radio up and listened to it with the speakers right near my head!
Now I was too young to really understand the true meaning of the lyrics. They were, and still are on occasion, misinterpreted as patriotic or jingoistic when in point of fact the song deals with the effect of the Vietnam war on Americans returning home to a country that doesn't want to help them. It deals also with loss and is in no way a flag waving nationalistic anthem but that didn't stop Ronald Reagan from co-opting it for one of his campaigns. I won't go into that as politics simply bores me shitless!
But from that first exposure to Springsteen's music I was hooked and spent the time between age 11 until, well, now I guess, listening to and buying and enjoying his music all the while I am being Mr Metal. For a long old time I couldn't reveal my liking for New Jerseys own rocker to even my closest friends as I knew the ridicule that would follow. In time I learned to not give two fucks what other people thought about my musical tastes or any tastes come to that but during my formative metal years (doesn't that sound just so cheesy? Does to me!) I had to only like Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Anthrax and all the other hard and heavy bands that were around, which was OK as I did like them and still enjoy most of those bands to this day. I have kinda lost Anthrax ever since they got their old singer back and played shit at Donnington a few years back!
I soon learned that my true friends accepted my liking for these songs and I forged on with it and delved into Bruce's back catalogue and discovered I loved most of them. If anyone ever tells you they like everything an artist has produced, however much they say they are their favourite artist, they are lying. We all don't like some songs on albums, some we consider filler and some we flat out don't like. If we liked everything then someone could just be farting into a microphone and it would get to number one. Although with the shit that populates the charts now it would stand a bloody good chance!
Albums like 'Greetings from Asbury Park, NJ' revealed the early incarnation of Bruce and the E Street Band, 'Born To Run' is just a flat out classic and I often listen to it, 'The River' was a cool album with lots of variety and 2 discs worth and 'Nebraska' was simply stunning being as it is just one guy and a guitar. A very sparse and bleak album but with such soul. It remains in my top 10 fav albums, maybe even top 5.
I wont go into his whole discography, I just mentioned those to give you an insight into how deeply I delve into something when I like it!
I got to thinking today while I was on the bus home why it is I like Bruce's music so much. I guess it's because he takes the mundane and makes it epic. He takes the small things that happen in our lives and turns them into mini miracles, snapshots of life that seem timeless. I will never know what its like to grow up in New Jersey, live through a war in which you lose many friends, fall in love in an era that I was only just born into but I can relate to the feelings of love, romance, longing, loss, desperation and sometimes hidden joy that the world contains. I like those feelings just as much as I like how I feel when I have 'Battery' turned way up loud and the windows are rattling and I just want to go break shit! Both styles of music remind me that I am alive and that I have a heart capable of feeling and a soul that needs to fly.
I'll leave you with some of the lyrics to one of my favourite Springsteen songs, which he opened the set with when I went to see him recently. Its from the 'Born In The U.S.A.' album and the song is 'No Surrender'. Fuck it, I'm gonna throw em all up here. Why not? This blog is fucking long as it is, might as well take the piss!
We busted out of class had to get away from those fools
We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school
Tonight I hear the neighborhood drummer sound
I can feel my heart begin to pound
You say you're tired and you just want to close your eyes and follow your dreams down
We made a promise we swore we'd always remember
No retreat no surrender
Like soldiers in the winter's night with a vow to defend
No retreat no surrender
Now young faces grow sad and old and hearts of fire grow cold
We swore blood brothers against the wind
I'm ready to grow young again
And hear your sister's voice calling us home across the open yards
Well maybe we could cut someplace of our own
With these drums and these guitars
Blood brothers in the stormy night with a vow to defend
No retreat no surrender
Now on the street tonight the lights grow dim
The walls of my room are closing in
There's a war outside still raging
you say it ain't ours anymore to win
I want to sleep beneath peaceful skies in my lover's bed
with a wide open country in my eyes
and these romantic dreams in my head
...
Those last 3 lines will stay with me forever as they are simply beautiful.
That's it. I'm done now. Off you go back to your lives. You are free....Till the next time I get the typing urge that is!
It begins....
Welcome, one and all, to the blog space of The Hairy Ninja!
This will be a place for general rantings, musical reviews, inspirational thoughts and just plain weirdness!
Please bear with me as I set this blog up. I am sure there will be a brief period of unfocused rambling and general untidiness, but this will soon resolve itself! Plus I will be setting the page layout to a more suitable set up to accommodate the million opinions that spew forth from my mouth and brain.
I will begin with a few things from facebook. I have been posting notes on there for a while, but only a select few will make it over to this space.
Read them, comment on them (if and when I allow that to happen!) and enjoy them.
It's good to have you here.
Now....let us begin...
This will be a place for general rantings, musical reviews, inspirational thoughts and just plain weirdness!
Please bear with me as I set this blog up. I am sure there will be a brief period of unfocused rambling and general untidiness, but this will soon resolve itself! Plus I will be setting the page layout to a more suitable set up to accommodate the million opinions that spew forth from my mouth and brain.
I will begin with a few things from facebook. I have been posting notes on there for a while, but only a select few will make it over to this space.
Read them, comment on them (if and when I allow that to happen!) and enjoy them.
It's good to have you here.
Now....let us begin...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)