Facebook breeds morons.

I'm sure I'm not alone in having a facebook profile. Oh sure, some people resolutely stay away from the place and I commend them for their strength and fortitude. If, however, you're like me and are the kind of person who stares at road accidents or likes seeing carnage, death and destruction and can't resist a quick look then I'm sure you'll share my fascination with the whole clusteruck of a social network site.

I freely admit to having spent more time than is good for me on that site. I used it as an escape from my previous job, which was mind numbing in it's simplicity but full of Shakespearean tragedy and back stabbing. If I wasn't dodging work by lurking on facebook I was watching some soap opera unfold before my very eyes. You must bear in mind that I worked in a factory full of men. Unfortunately they were worse than the weekly Bitches, Witches and Cunts coffee/gossip morning. But I digress...

I have noticed that a lot of people on that site have some form of stupid middle name. Some even have an uproariously funny profile name that bears no resemblance to their proper name. Oh how they must chuckle when they log in to the facebook profile of Derek Windsock Delishiousnomnom McFuckwit (the 'delishiousnomnom' bit is from an actual user name. I mean, what the fuck?
While I will admit that people are allowed to post under any name they wish (The Hairy Ninja? What's that all about?!?), I remain free to abuse them and throw insults their way.
What makes me the maddest and angriest is the blatant lack of maturity on that site. Grown men and women seem to want to be known by the most ridiculous monikers their tiny minds can imagine.
And it doesn't stop there! Most of these people seem to have no grasp of the English language. They post the most grammatically incorrect comments, full of spelling mistakes and containing no actual sentence structure. When you make mention of the fact that they've used the word 'their' instead of 'they're' for the 100th time, you are met with the stock answers of 'I can't spell that good' or 'fuck u, I can spel hw I wnt 2'. Either response is met with the same level of anger and revulsion. Either go away from your computer and learn to spell and even do remedial English if it'll help, or stop trying to communicate with the humans who pass by your cage bars and who throw bananas at you, from time to time.
It's not hard to make the effort to write in a coherent manner or to spell things correctly. Computers have a spell check function, make use of it! If you can't be arsed to learn this shit then let your paid for with benefit payments computer do it for you.

I long for the day when everyone realises what twats they've been and stops that shit. Either that or the whole site goes into meltdown after the internet becomes self aware, Skynet style, and commits technological murder of facebook. Both outcomes are fine with me. I've already moved on to Twitter so facebook dying ain't a problem!

But please British public, I implore you, learn to spell and stop being cunts. Is that too much to ask? Fuck, I think it might be.....