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Welcome, folks! Here is my Halloween pumpkin offering, this year. Based on marvel's Iron Man. I'd just finished watching Iron Man 2 and I got to thinking, 'Hey, I've still got a pumpkin to carve....!'
Next year? Batman. Not just the logo, Christian Bale's actual visage in full Batman outfit! Ambitious? You betcha!
I don't really class myself as a carpenter, as I have no formal skill when it comes to working with wood. I also don't class myself as a complete novice as I can make pretty much all I set out to.
What I will class myself as is a guy with some level of skill who makes shit with wood!
So far I have made beehives, a couple of 3 tier shelves, a mini set of 2 shelves and some small planters. They're all pretty good quality, too. I am quite pleased with the way they have turned out. Actually, I shouldn't be that surprised with the quality of my work as I am totally anal when it comes to things being exact. I didn't spend nearly 20 years in engineering and not pick up some level of exactness, along the way!
So this new work environment has opened me up to learning yet more new skills, namely those involved in proper woodworking. Sure, I can plod along and keep screwing bits of wood together and calling it woodwork but I want to learn to do proper joints like mortise and tenon, dovetail and the like. I have the time to do this and I certainly have the skill. Now all I need is the inclination! It's not going to be easy, learning all this new stuff. It'll certainly be a challenge and I relish that. If life was easy, someone smart would live it. Fuck knows what that means!
I also want to move into crafting my own weapons for training. Now before any of you get any ridiculous ideas that I will be stalking the streets all tooled up, I will clarify. I use wooden versions of swords and knives in my ninjutsu training. I want to make my own. I see it as a very integral part of my training in not only ninjutsu but woodworking, in general.
So in the coming months I will be posting pictures of the things I create in my shed of wonders on places like Twitter, Facebook and, of course, here. I'm also looking to set up a website to showcase my wares. Who knows, maybe someone will like my stuff so much that they'll pay me money for it. Stranger things have happened!
So be prepared, folks, to be deluged with tales of my woodworking exploits. I may even get into a spot of whittling!
Welcome, friends, to the confessional post of a fat lad. This is only a short post so please, stick with it...What you see before you (if you were in the room with me...which you're not...but try to imagine the scene...if you will...it'll only take a minute!) is a body that's out of shape. I've always been a big lad, don't get me wrong, but I once was a fitter specimen than is currently in front of this computer.I will not explain the reasons why I am no longer able to get through a ninjutsu
warm up, without sweat pouring from my head in a torrent of salty droplets, as they're many and varied. All I will say is that I will be using this blog as a log of my progress as I embark on the road back to greatness.I will be aided in my journey by some wonderful people. Some of those people are also sadistic people, but then again, so am I!Stay tuned to this channel and in the coming months I will update you with my progress, weight loss and improvements in stamina and general fitness. Hmmm, I've got a feeling that's it's going to be a long and bumpy ride!
I'm sure I'm not alone in having a facebook profile. Oh sure, some people resolutely stay away from the place and I commend them for their strength and fortitude. If, however, you're like me and are the kind of person who stares at road accidents or likes seeing carnage, death and destruction and can't resist a quick look then I'm sure you'll share my fascination with the whole clusteruck of a social network site.
I freely admit to having spent more time than is good for me on that site. I used it as an escape from my previous job, which was mind numbing in it's simplicity but full of Shakespearean tragedy and back stabbing. If I wasn't dodging work by lurking on facebook I was watching some soap opera unfold before my very eyes. You must bear in mind that I worked in a factory full of men. Unfortunately they were worse than the weekly Bitches, Witches and Cunts coffee/gossip morning. But I digress...
I have noticed that a lot of people on that site have some form of stupid middle name. Some even have an uproariously funny profile name that bears no resemblance to their proper name. Oh how they must chuckle when they log in to the facebook profile of Derek Windsock Delishiousnomnom McFuckwit (the 'delishiousnomnom' bit is from an actual user name. I mean, what the fuck?
While I will admit that people are allowed to post under any name they wish (The Hairy Ninja? What's that all about?!?), I remain free to abuse them and throw insults their way.
What makes me the maddest and angriest is the blatant lack of maturity on that site. Grown men and women seem to want to be known by the most ridiculous monikers their tiny minds can imagine.
And it doesn't stop there! Most of these people seem to have no grasp of the English language. They post the most grammatically incorrect comments, full of spelling mistakes and containing no actual sentence structure. When you make mention of the fact that they've used the word 'their' instead of 'they're' for the 100th time, you are met with the stock answers of 'I can't spell that good' or 'fuck u, I can spel hw I wnt 2'. Either response is met with the same level of anger and revulsion. Either go away from your computer and learn to spell and even do remedial English if it'll help, or stop trying to communicate with the humans who pass by your cage bars and who throw bananas at you, from time to time.
It's not hard to make the effort to write in a coherent manner or to spell things correctly. Computers have a spell check function, make use of it! If you can't be arsed to learn this shit then let your paid for with benefit payments computer do it for you.
I long for the day when everyone realises what twats they've been and stops that shit. Either that or the whole site goes into meltdown after the internet becomes self aware, Skynet style, and commits technological murder of facebook. Both outcomes are fine with me. I've already moved on to Twitter so facebook dying ain't a problem!
But please British public, I implore you, learn to spell and stop being cunts. Is that too much to ask? Fuck, I think it might be.....
